shatteredshards: Clint needs to lay off the caffeine (hawk coffee)
[personal profile] shatteredshards
Jezebel posted an article the other day (here) about a Reddit user who decided to take an, albeit short, walk in someone else's shoes.

The man, joking that "women have it easy" on online dating sites, created a fake profile, using a photo of the female friend he was joking with for the picture, and waited. Not that he had to wait long, because he claimed the inappropriate messages were arriving in just mere minutes.

I would be lying if I said it didn't get to me. I thought it would be some fun thing, something where I would do it and worse case scenario say "lol I was a guy I trolle you lulz"etc. but within a 2 hour span it got me really down and I was feeling really uncomfortable with everything. I figured I would get some weird messages here and there, but what I got was an onslaught of people who were, within minutes of saying hello, saying things that made me as a dude who spends most of his time on 4chan uneasy. I ended up deleting my profile at the end of 2 hours and kind of went about the rest of my night with a very bad taste in my mouth.

After two hours, he was so upset by it that he deleted his profile. He deleted his profile and walked away, never to experience this again.

Women can't just delete their profile and walk away - they receive this treatment all over the internet, not just on dating sites. And if they literally walk away, as soon as they leave their house they're experiencing this to their faces. Because surprise, a far too large number of men think this sort of thing is appropriate or okay out in The Real World.

I could not even begin to tell you the number of times I've been sexually harassed, both online and outside the internet, because I lost count a long time ago. When I was a teenager, I could guarantee you I'd be catcalled if I was walking 2 blocks or more down the street. By 20 I had the whole "How to Avoid Being Raped" list down solid ("don't go anywhere by yourself at night," "don't wear headphones because you might not hear someone behind you," "don't pull your hood up because it will obscure your peripheral vision," "carry a pocketknife or boxcutter in your hand," "have your keys out and ready BEFORE you exit the building," "pretend to be talking to someone on your cell phone because a possible witness is discouraging," etc etc). When I was 25, I was sexually harassed by my boss at my job for over a year - and then fired when I reported it to the EEOC after the company employing me failed to handle it properly. Though the company had also held my yearly review and raise hostage for five months at that point, once multiple employees made a formal complaint against the manager, but you get the picture.

The thing that bothers me the most about this, however, is the simple fact that women have been complaining about this sort of thing since forever, and they hear the same mansplaining every time. But now a dude confirms it and suddenly a bunch more people will take it seriously.


shatteredshards: a large cappuccino cup with a skein of multicolored yarn in it (Default)

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